Strangling Hands
by Anna De La Fere
Summary: Athos makes a horrible mistake. Will he be able to fix it or will it cost him everything? Read and find out :)


She was restless. Not that it was anything new but for the first time in her life, she couldn't tell if she had made the right decision or not when she decided to stay in France after everything that had happened. Things were going fine in Paris: Rochefort was dead, their majesties' relationship was slowly improving, Aramis wasn't a condemned man anymore, Constance and D'artagnan had a nice wedding a few days ago. However, she was left with nothing. Without a shelter, without a single penny, absolutely nothing. The king wanted her out of the palace as soon as possible, the whole country despised her, she had lost the king's expensive jewelry and as a cherry on top, Athos was avoiding her. He had a new family, new life which didn't include her anymore. Surely, he had kissed her passionately a few days ago, expressed his gratitude in his own twisted way when she rescued Aramis but nothing more. No sign of forgiveness. She could still remember the way his body tensed when she touched his arm and the blankness in his eyes when they met her own hope-filled ones. It almost made her cry. Almost because despite her fierce love for him, she was strong enough to hide her tears from him. She had done everything in her power to gain his forgiveness yet her attempts went in vain. She was tired. She couldn't do anything more. She couldn't bring his dead brother back, could she? Not that she wouldn't if she could. Well, if he didn't want her, she could live with that. She didn't know how but she would. She was used to that.

Despite it all, she still decided to stay. Firstly, because she couldn't bear the thought of being too far from Athos (Damn him for that) and secondly because Treville had offered her a job as a regular spy. Of course, she wasn't stupid enough to think she would avoid seeing her husband or other musketeers but she would try her best not to let them in her sight. After all, if she couldn't manage to win the musketeers' hearts, she would still get paid for her hard work and money was exactly what she needed to survive. Love, romance and fairytales were good but none of them could fill your grumbling stomach. Immediately seeing the captain's offer as a benefit, she agreed to help him however she could. She even agreed to deliver letters for Treville from his so called "foreign friends" when the musketeers had more important duties to do. She was satisfied if not counting the glares she occasionally received from her husband's youngest friend and his new wife, the look of disapproval on Porthos and Aramis' faces every time they saw her talking to Athos and her husband's inability of being near her. It was as if he couldn't stand being in the same room with her, breathe the same air and stood stiff during their brief conversation, every muscle in his body alert, as if preparing for a very violent action. She could tell he wasn't happy with her new job. He didn't like the fact that he had to see her almost every day. She hated it and she hated him for that. She had given him no reason at all to doubt her, had she? She loved him deeply and it bothered her a lot to see him constantly trying to free himself from her presence, from her nearness. That grumpy bastard!

* * *

That evening she was going to the Garrison to give Treville some important letters when she felt someone's barely audible footsteps behind her. Milady de Winter was a woman of action. As much as she enjoyed teasing her victim first, she knew she had to act fast. With her hand around her pistol hidden in her skirts, she turned around to find the street empty. Darting her eyes around the dark place, she found no one. No alive soul. Only some owls kept singing, disturbing the peaceful silence. Narrowing her eyes, she kept her hand wrapped around her pistol and continued her way towards the Garrison, trying to ignore the fact that her watcher kept following her. She couldn't hear his steps anymore but she knew he was near.

Upon reaching her destination she turned around and saw no one again. It was weird considering the fact that she had heard his footsteps again a few seconds ago.

"Damn, someone saw me. Perhaps first he needed to find out where I was going." – She thought and went in.

Treville was sitting on the stairs, lost in thoughts. He stood up as soon as he noticed her, his eyes focused on the letters clutched in her hands.

"Milady". – He bowed lightly getting a nod from her.

"I believe your journey was pleasant and my task hasn't put your life in danger" – It was weird how polite he had become to her. She had always known he was a gentleman but it still sounded weird in her ears. Definitely pleasant but unfamiliar.

"Everything is fine". – She lied, not wanting to tell him about her stalker. Treville had more important problems to solve.

"However", - She continued. – "Spain is planning a war so listen carefully".

He nodded. Milady took a deep breath and was about to start talking when the sound of gunshot filled her ears. Too stunned to protest she found herself thrown to the ground by Treville who was panting heavily on top of her. Milady looked up to meet his pain-filled eyes and felt something warm wetting her dress. He was shot. Treville rolled over and sprawled on the ground, clutching his wounded stomach. Not wasting a second Milady grabbed her gun and followed the shooter, shooting her own gun at him several times but he still managed to flee.

Returning to Treville who now lay unconscious, she was about to kneel and bandage his wound with some pieces of her skirt before getting help when she heard the musketeers approaching. Sighing in relief, she saw Athos, Porthos, Aramis and D'artagnan running towards them. Suddenly they stopped, freezing in place as their eyes took in the scene. Treville sprawled unconscious, Milady holding a pistol in her hand and her dress soaked in blood. She looked at them confused, not understanding why they weren't helping the injured man when everything sunk in. She opened her mouth to explain the situation but was interrupted by Athos pinning her against the wall. Her eyes widened when she felt his strong hands enveloping her pale throat in a desperate attempt to choke her.

"What have you done?!" – He growled at her, increasing the pressure on her throat, not giving her a chance to reply.

"What have you done to him, you bitch!" – He roared again, eyes wild. She couldn't reply. Not when her lungs were on the verge of exploding in her body, her eyes rolling back, body shaking and convulsing. Her hands wrapped around his in a miserable attempt to push them away but Athos paid no heed.

She was already losing her senses when Porthos noticed them and quickly pushed Athos away. She collapsed on the ground, gasping, choking, coughing and holding her throat that was gifted with new scars.

"What are you doing, are you mad?!" – She heard Porthos shouting at Athos who was struggling to make another attempt to attack her.

"I'm going to kill you, whore! Get out of my sight or I won't let you live another day!" – The swordsman shouted, barely controlling his aching hands. Thank god Porthos held him back.

"I knew it! Whores like you never change! I don't understand how I married you, it was the worst decision I have ever made!" – He growled, growing red in face.

Aramis went to her and helped her get to her feet. Wrapping his cloak around her trembling shoulders, he guided her to the gates, making sure not to scare her anymore.

"He's not himself now but he will be better soon. Meanwhile try not to get in his sight, ok?" – His soft voice almost made her cry. She looked up at him, wishing she could explain everything but she was too tired to speak so just nodded and went, not looking back.

Aramis sighed and ran a hand through his hair before going back. He had to find everything out but first he needed to help Treville.

* * *

It took the captain three days to finally come to his senses. He woke up dizzy and confused, with a fierce headache. Squinting a bit, he opened his both eyes to meet Aramis' smiling face. The marksman held a mug full of water in his hand and brought it to Treville's lips. The captain drank greedily and collapsed back against the pillows.

"How are you feeling, captain?" – Aramis' voice sounded like a lullaby in his ears.

"I've been better". – He smiled weakly. – "How is Milady?"

Despite the dizziness and weakness, Treville could swear he saw a shadow pass on Aramis' face. Frowning, he attempted to sit up but immediately regretted it as a wave of strong vertigo hit him, spinning the whole room around.

"Easy, captain" – The marksman steadied him, giving him some water again.

"How is she?" – Treville asked when he finally gained his voice.

"She…" – Aramis lowered his head, mentally debating if he should tell him or not.

"Speak up, Aramis, it's an order!" – Treville raised his voice.

With a sigh, the marksman explained the situation briefly, understanding it was better to make him aware of it all. Treville listened carefully, sighing from time to time.

"We know it's her fault but we still couldn't let Athos kill her. She is a woman, after all". – He finished, sadness evident in his eyes.

Heavy silence settled between them. Both men got lost in thoughts. Treville had his eyes closed and Aramis thought he had fallen asleep when he suddenly spoke up:

"It wasn't her fault".

"What?"

"She didn't shoot me".

"But how… I don't understand…"

"She came to deliver letters from one of my Spanish friends and was about to tell me something when I noticed a shadow of a man aiming his gun at her. I pushed her away as soon as I could but the stranger still managed to shoot me".

Aramis stood still for a few minutes, trying to comprehend everything he had just heard. So, she was innocent. Athos had made another horrible mistake!

"My god… Athos…" – He whispered, paling.

"What happened, Aramis? What did he do to her?"

Aramis told him everything, observing the changes on his captain's face. By the time he was finished he could tell Treville was seething. The captain clenched his fists, his face paling as a sheet, his eyes spitting fire.

"Bring him to me". – He said at last, voice dangerously quiet.

An hour later Aramis managed to drag his drunk, half-conscious friend to the wounded man's room. As soon as Athos appeared in his sight, Treville dismissed the marksman and turned an icy glare towards his swordsman.

"What have you done to her?". – No matter how skilled Athos was at glaring, the look on the captain's face still sent shivers through his spine.

"Ask me when I find her". – He replied, scowling.

"Do you even know what you did, damn you?!" – He growled, almost jumping out of the bed but regretting immediately as a sharp pain in his stomach returned, quickening his breath.

"She shot you! What did you expect me to do, thank her?!" – Athos growled back, forgetting who he was talking to.

"She didn't shoot me!"

Athos was about to leave the room but Treville's voice made him stop abruptly, his hand halting around the doorknob.

"I sent her to deliver some important letters from my Spanish friends. Someone clearly saw her and didn't want the information to reach Paris so he followed her and attempted to kill her when she arrived. I pushed her away as soon as I saw her stalker. However, he still managed to shoot me". – Treville continued. – "That bullet was meant for her. She could have died because of me!"

Athos felt the room spinning around him. Grabbing the chair for support, he barely managed to sit and take a breath. The color on his face made Treville feel worried about him. Reaching out, he used the last of his strength to take a hold of the swordsman's now sweaty hands.

"Son," – He whispered softly. Athos looked up, eyes brimming with tears. The captain had a second to brace himself before Athos threw himself at him, hugging him tightly and sobbing in his chest.

"I am a monster". – He sobbed, wetting the captain's nightshirt. Treville wrapped his own arms around him, rubbing his back, whispering comforting words in his ears.

"Shh, you are not a monster, Athos, it was a mistake".

"She nearly died because of me again. She will never forgive me". – Now Athos was sobbing violently. It made Treville feel like he was soothing a child who had hurt a small bird and was regretting his action.

"It will be hard for both of you but she loves you. She will forgive you, son". – He soothed.

Athos pulled away, his tearful eyes boring straight into Treville's.

"What to do?" – He asked plaintively.

"Go find her, beg her to forgive you, do something!"

Nodding quickly, Athos shot to his feet and ran out of the door, leaving his worried captain behind.

* * *

Finding her took almost the whole day. In the evening he entered a small tavern to find her sitting at one of the tables, lost in thoughts. His breath caught in his throat as soon as his eyes drank her in. She was beautiful like an angel in that navy blue dress with her hair down, resting elegantly on her shoulders. He stood there mesmerized by her beauty, almost forgetting the horrible mistake he had made. With heart in his hand, he made his way to her table and sat across from her. His heart crushed in his chest as he noticed the traces of dried tears on her face. Milady was so lost in thoughts that she didn't even notice his arrival.

"Anne". – He whispered. Her eyes shot up and she was on her feet in an instant, ready to run away but he gently grabbed her arm, attempting to make her sit down again. Her eyes fired immediately, face growing red with anger. He could feel her arm trembling slightly against his fingers.

"We need to talk". – He continued, still holding her arm.

"Get your strangling hands off me, monster". – She hissed, gritting his teeth. Athos shuddered a bit but didn't let go.

"Please". – He begged plaintively, fresh tears gathering in his blue-green eyes. Milady closed her eyes, feeling her own tears threatening to escape but she wouldn't shed them in front of him. Never again.

"God damn you, Athos…" – She whispered, voice broken. – "May my eyes never see you again".

"Anne, please, I'm begging you". – He begged, suddenly dropping to his knees, clutching her hands in his, trying to ignore the way she flinched at the contact. He brought her hands to his lips, kissing and wetting them with tears.

"Please, listen to me". – He pleaded, burying his face in her palms.

"Listen to what, Athos? Your threats? I've heard more than enough, thank you". – He flinched at her cold voice. Looking up his eyes met hers and time stopped around them. He stared at her pale green orbs, drowning into them, begging them for forgiveness he knew he would never receive. Yes, he was a beast but he was a beast that needed his beauty beside him to feel himself human again.

"I love you". – He whispered in a broken voice. Thank god the tavern was empty and no one would hear them.

A sharp bark of bitter laughter escaped her throat. Athos shut his eyes tightly, expecting such reaction from her. However, he didn't give up. His hands found their way towards her narrow waist, circling it while he buried his face in her stomach, pressing her closer to him.

"I am sorry, Anne, I am so sorry". – He sobbed openly, still clutching her. – "I know I am a monster but I can't live without you. I love you, I miss you, I need you. Please, forgive me. I'll do anything for you".

"I don't believe a word you say!" – She said sharply, seething but she made no attempt to push him away. "You've been avoiding me since the day I started working for your captain. What's the matter, Athos? Are you jealous that he likes me more?" – Her mocking voice froze the blood in his veins but he didn't give up.

"I've been avoiding you because I don't deserve you." – He whispered, face buried in her dress.

"Of course, you don't". – She laughed bitterly – "An honorable gentleman like you can't deserve a whore of a wife".

Too much, it was too much. Her words felt like bullets in his chest. His heart was bleeding but if he gave up now, he would never get the chance to gain her back again.

"I didn't mean…" – He began but she cut him off:

"I don't care what you mean. It doesn't matter anymore. Tomorrow I am going to England and you will never see me again".

"England?" – He whispered, not wanting to believe his ears. She rolled her eyes at him, attempting to push his hands away but he held her in a tight grip.

"Yes, England. Perhaps I will find my well-deserved peace there". – The word "happiness" lingered on her tongue but she didn't dare to say it. She would never be happy without him and she knew that. Despite that, she couldn't let him back in her life as he would shatter it again and leave her broken. After all, it was so like him to do such thing.

"There can be no peace for either of us until we are both dead". – He repeated her words, looking her in the eyes. She turned her face away, afraid of melting into the sadness of his orbs.

"It was a lie. We only hurt each other, it's the only thing we are good at". – She whispered.

"Let's learn how to be good at loving each other instead". – He said, suddenly desperate.

She looked at the face of a man she loved and hated in equal measure. He had turned her life upside down, left her cold and alone and unwanted in a world which never welcomed her with open arms. She remembered starving, freezing, convulsing in agony every time Sarazin left her alone, cold and hungry in a dirty basement full of rats. She remembered the sharpness of his slap every time he wasn't satisfied with her work, could recall a stream of colorful swearing in her address. Her childhood had been nothing more than a pure nightmare. The one she couldn't wish even for her worst enemy but the one she couldn't escape either. It all changed when she married him. Her Athos. He made her feel loved and protected. She trembled whenever she looked into his eyes and found them shining with adoration. The innocent air surrounding him, his wide beautiful orbs full of love just for her and no one else, his need to have her constantly by his side, to have her safe and sound and loved and protected… It all made her feel dizzy. At such times Anne felt a bud of fierce love swelling in her heart, frightening her against her will. She didn't know it was possible to love someone so deeply. It made her proud. She was glad she could love like that. Little did she know life had other plans for her or to say for them.

"No, it won't work". – As soon as the words left her mouth, she froze. She froze because she didn't expect to see her hand caressing his messy hair or the other hand wiping away some salty tears from his eyes.

"It will. I know it will". – He said stubbornly, again refusing to give up. She sighed and continued to play with his hair, the soft movements of her hands almost lulling him to sleep. She wanted to push him away, shout at him, strangle him with her own hands for making her so miserable but she just couldn't. How did she even think she could ever do it?

"We have to part our ways, Athos". – It hurt a lot but she had to continue. – "It will be better for both of us. Try to live with it". – Saying so she finally untangled herself from his arms and went out of the tavern, not bothering to look back.

* * *

The cool air caressed her beautiful face and she took a deep breath, glad to be away from him. She knew he loved her, had seen it in his eyes but letting him back into her life meant destroying it and she didn't really have the strength to bear it.

Running a hand through her hair, she started walking to her quarters, planning to pack her things when she heard the sound of footsteps again. Thinking it was Athos, she turned around to finally end things with him when someone covered her mouth and dragged her away. Milady started struggling and kicking, attempting to let out a scream but the stranger had her mouth clasped in his hand far too tightly.

She didn't know how long he kept dragging her or where they were going but soon enough she found herself in a dark alley, her back against the wall with a tall shadow of a man hovering around her.

"What do you want?" – She spat, getting straight to the point.

"You know what I want". – Replied the stranger in a good French but she could still hear the Spanish accent in his voice.

"Forgive me for being oblivious" – She mocked, attempting to free herself but his grip held her in place.

"Give me the letters". – He said in a low voice.

"What letters?" – She rolled her eyes, glaring at him.

"Don't play games with me, spy". – He hissed and she felt something cold pressing against her throat. – "Give me the letters or I will slice you up".

"I don't have any letters. I don't know what you are talking about". – She replied nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.

"So you don't have them?"

"No".

"Fine, then I hope you won't mind if I do a little research, will you?" – He asked with a smirk plastered across his face, one of his hands sliding towards her chest.

Before Milady could come to her senses, he started tearing her clothes away, hands roaming on her body. She started screaming and kicking, trying to hit him hard enough to free herself but he was too strong.

"Stop struggling, bitch!" – He growled and slapped her hard across her face before returning to his task.

Milady kept screaming for help, kicking her limbs to push him away. He was almost done with her clothes and was about to start whatever he had been planning to do to her when a loud noise echoed through the alley, disturbing the silence. Milady watched in horror as the man's eyes widened, his mouth hanging open, hands roaming behind him. A second later he collapsed at her feet, letting out his last breath. The woman stood speechless, too stunned to move. Finally, she gathered enough courage to look up and… It was him. Even in the dark she could recognize his silhouette. He was standing there, his pistol lowered at his side, eyes searching for her face, trying to see any signs of pain. He didn't dare to move, clearly waiting for her to come to her senses. Perhaps, he was scared she would reject him again and leave him with no hope. Or, maybe he didn't want to scare her even more than she already was. Whatever it was, she had to assure him she was fine and she was grateful and… And she loved him back…

"Anne, are you all right?" – His warm voice filled her ears, making her forget everything. Not wasting a second she ran into his arms, wrapping her own around him, pressing herself as close to him as she could. He hugged her back immediately, burying his face in her hair, inhaling her scent. It felt so good to have her in his arms again, to feel her breath tickling his neck and the sound of her voice ringing in his ears. He could die like that. Totally surrounded by her.

"I love you". – She whispered in his ear when she found enough strength in herself to speak. – "I love you and I forgive you, Athos cause if I don't, my world will always be diminished without you".

It was all he needed to hear from her mouth. Pulling away from the hug, he pulled her in for a passionate kiss, his arms circling her waist, pressing her closer while she slid her hands in his hair, returning the kiss. When they pulled away, Athos bent to press soft kisses on her throat in a silent apology, his lips brushing against the scars his fingers had left on the pale skin. Milady shuddered a bit, closing her eyes, accepting the apology. The former count felt his eyes brimming with fresh tears but blinked them away, not wanting to stress her further. He hugged her again, caressing her back and hair, trying to free her mind from every kind of suffering.

"Athos?" – He heard her whisper against his neck.

"Yes, my love?"

"Take me home, please".

He smiled at her and offered her his arm, eyes shining with happiness when she accepted it with a small smile of her own, letting him lead her. He knew things weren't settled between them and they needed to work hard to get each other back but they had a whole life ahead to do that. This time they would make it work. He and She. Nothing and no one would ever come between them. Never again.

* * *

**Happy New Year, my dearest readers, wish you all the best 3 Forgive me for spoiling your good mood with dramas but I couldn't get the idea out of my head so I hope you enjoy it. As always, any kind of suggestion or disapproval is welcomed with open arms, so please please please leave reviews and let me know what you think :)**


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